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A geeks guide to females

Beauty and the Geek - terribly funny show. I only
watched the auditions but gawd was I on the floor laughing

My friends - we have stalkers and then we have geeks who do not know how to talk to a girl. 'What on earth do you mean?' you may ask me. This is a guide of sorts to help poor unfortunate souls who stalk because they really like some girl (written by someone who has been there and done that).

(1) Everyone stalks. It's true! Once you have a crush on someone you tend to know where they are or when you might see them. Unfortunately, geeks don't know what to do when they meet a girl. They are dreaming that the girl will one day just realise their existence, take notice of them, fall head over heels in love and then gg (Good game, game over for those who are uninitiated). Sorry my misguided brethren - that only happens in Hollywood and then not very often.


(2) Why do geeks stalk? Well following from the previous point - in order for a girl to take notice of you - she has to see you. So a geek consciously or subconsciously starts stalking her to increase that time length and thus opportunity for attention.

When they do talk to the girl they are mentally harrased to please her so much, the entertaining, witty and intelligent part inside a geek completely dies.

My friends, - (a) Yes she will notice you are around her a lot. This is not a good thing. Words like stalker and weirdo float around too fluidly for you to avoid the label (b) Even if she is a really nice person and doesn't label you, your harrased mental will be completely unable to impress her and pity is the best thing you can get. Note - not respect, not love - Pity.


(3) So what can you do about it?
This is the trick guys. Many geeks (not all) are at a distinct inability to read social signals as well as the normal person. I'm talking about things like body language, voice tone etc. LEARN IT! It is a steep learning curve for geeks especially later in youth, but when you get that tingling feeling that something is wrong - listen to it. It is somewhere in you to tell when a situation is awkward. Don't stress about it, apologise firmly and catch yourself before you repeat it next time. You can get the hang of it.

Catch yourself when you are in stalker mode and GET OUT OF IT. If you are hanging around some place waiting for her - don't! If you are constantly hanging around her group of friends remaining awkwardly quiet - move away. These things make you look and act weird. Insanity as they say is doing things that are not working repeatedly.

Now this is a difficult part. I know you dream of love and that really hot girl (and I don't really want to know what else you dream about) but in order to present yourself best you MUST NOT be DESPERATE. Girls, especially the type you like, can smell it like animals can smell fear. The truth is you probably are desperate which is why you are doing the things you do. And it's not just the stress of wanting someone; it is born of loneliness, self justification, recognition and all kinds of things everyone wants. Then stop - there are other things wrong in your life besides the lack of girl.

Take a chill pill my friends. It's a little philosophical, but you have to be at calm inside a little first before someone else is calm around you. Look at it this way - all this time your desperation has driven girls away - what have you got to lose by being a little less desperate.

Start by small life changes. Get some good friends you know you can fall back on. Diversify your activities beyond World of Warcraft. Not a physical person? I assure you, you could be. Every geek would love to hold a sword. Go take up fencing or kendo or something. Try a sport for real. Tennis, badminton, table tennis - anything at all, you could surprise yourself. Take up dancing even -latin, ballroom, hip hop even. Try some stage acting. Break out of the confined shell of yourself - learn most importantly that you can change and that it is worth it.

Forget about the girl problem as much for a little while. Chill out and lean back, and you'll find the good qualities in you shining out a bit better around pretty girls. Then and only then will you also be able to start learning what sort of actions are enjoyed around these people. What kind of jokes entertain them, what kind of activities they do, what kind of people they are and whether they are even for you! Often you will find you have done a lot of projection onto these people and they are nothing like what you imagined. - This is why people say you always find love when you aren't looking for it. Desperation kills the romantic mood.

And then - just ask. What? I mean just ask them out. Don't waste your life and energy running around trying to find out where they are and how to intercept them. Get them alone and comfortable just once and ask them out to dinner. It takes guts - and I of all people know the turmoil you undergo. But stalking and hoping doesn't work. And this way you save a lot of time and energy you could be using to figure out how to take over the financial empire. Then those hoes will come to you anyway. Mwahahaha!

Grow up, get a pair of balls and start learning how to live in society.

Poker: The Ups and Downs

Gambling is often viewed by most a rather disreputable game. Many only see it as a game of chance - and in some cases this is true! However, there is an interesting set of mathematics that govern the way Casinos are run (or else their profits would be purely subject to the law of luck! And thus not make any profit and go bankrupt according to the Gambler's Ruin Theory)

This is the Gambler's Ruin Theory. A gambler starting of with say 100 chips begins playing a game of luck. He wins some and loses some (and as explained by Chaos Theory) he has streaks of both kinds of hands. Eventually however the losing streak will be large enough to send the gambler to 0. At 0 the gambler cannot play anymore and the graph stops. So, losses and wins are not continuous like say a chart of temperature could be, but will hit a constant when the gambler reaches 0.

Casinos generally don't go bankrupt (unless Ocean's Eleven decides to overcome your invulnerable security system). So the Gambler's Ruin is not in effect. If indeed there is a formula behind the casinos winnings, even if heavily dependent on probability and not solid integers, then of course the challenge is to come up with a playing formula to overcome the one used by the casino.

Unfortunately, although I have heard rumour of such play styles for games such as Blackjack, I do not know them. Or else why would I bother telling you? Hahahaha!

But the game that has piqued my interest is poker. Poker is not a game played against the house (i.e. the casino). It is played against other players. There are several versions of poker. The one that I have been playing is called Texas Hold 'Em. Like many things I am slowly trying to understand, the hint of a system glints just beyond my mastery.

To those who are unfamiliar with Hold 'Em, it is very straightforward. You are given a pair of cards like all other players. Then three cards are placed on the table (the flop). The one card (the turn) and then one more card (the river). Before each placement of cards, you may place a bet. Betting means you can 'check' (no money placed) 'raise' (increase the amount being bet of any other player by 2 times or more) and 'call' (place the same amount as another players bet). You may also if you think the bet is not worth it 'fold' (you pull out of the game and someone else will win the pot). All money placed during bets goes into the pot. An interesting move to make is "all in" meaning you bet all the chips you have!

So in combination with the mathematics of probability a streak of psychology also is involved in this game which makes it very interesting. Here are some of my experiences playing poker.

(1) Read your enemy. New players to the game are easy to read. Excitement when they have good cards and lack of knowledge when to pull out makes them easy targets since you can usually tell when to fold or push them to their limits. More experienced players are harder to read as they will try to hide their actions. Playing on a table of ten people it was interesting to watch how quickly beginners in the game were wiped out simply by even slightly more experienced players. And when up against good players, it became very difficult to catch them in a mistake.

(2) Body language. Things like fingering chips and even the proverbial twitching eyebrow betray emotion which is not a good thing. Being good enough an actor to pull off fake actions takes training and heck a lot of nerve and knowing when to do so is a developed skill. Example, if I had pathetic cards but another player has only average cards, it is possible to force him off the table by looking confident. However, if he has something like pocket aces in his hand, all the acting in the world will not scare him off and you have to be able to read that - or die very quickly to his superior hand.

(3) The curse of luck. In some cases Luck is a damn good thing to have. Pocket aces for example (meaning you get two aces in your hand that no one else knows about) is very powerful. But it means that all your skill and reading is nullified. You have no choice but to play your hand because of the good cards. Should any player have something dangerous appear during the flop, turn and river such as a straight, a triple or greater, your aces mean nothing. But being lured out by your cards, it is rare that you would choose to fold convinced that the other player has the winning hand.

Basically - Average cards in your hand is when your skill of reading others is most required and gives you the ability to push and pull according the cards appearing on the table. Low cards often are just folded without thought because the chances you win are low - you will chew your shoes though whenever for some stupid reason you realise you would have scored a full house consisting of 2s and 3s that you just folded. Oh well, don't stress, the 1 million other times, you would have lost with that hand. Good cards are good, but the better they are the more you are forced to depend on your good luck, and if justice is blind, lady luck has had her eyes torn out.

(4) The almighty "All In!" Done more often than you think it would occur. Done wrongly you will find yourself out of the game just like that. Play your cards well and this move is often the one that determines most of the outcomes during tournament games. Desperate players (with few chips left) often all in cos they have no choice and the statement their all in makes is weak. Winning players (who have lots of chips) making all ins are often trying to kill the desperate players by forcing them to depend on luck with weak hands. So - so players (with a fair number of chips) need to know whether their opponents are reckless or not to use their all ins.

I say - kill reckless players by all inning with good cards quickly because their play prevents you from pulling of tricks such as fakes and slows down your interpretation of better players levels of caution and play style.

Once again - Lady Luck can be a killer with the all ins. Too many times the last card revealed (the river) has devastated a perfectly played hand and awesome psychological reading.

(5) Mathematics and fishing. Fishing is the term for seeing what the opened cards reveal why paying as little as possible for it. Obviously, you place more money in if you think your chances are better at getting combinations. People with good cards often try to scare of people who are fishing by increasing the bets drastically (sometimes you don't need good cards to scare people). This is the core and bulk of poker. Know your chances well and read your enemies.


All in all, I must say I truly do enjoy the game. I believe there must be more levels I do not understand yet. I do not believe in free table poker as it means people who have more money can swing their weight and force money off people with less. Competition buy ins where everyone is playing with the same number of chips on outset make far more sense to me. So far I'm glad to say I haven't used any money on poker (cept for 2 dollars amongst friends - sorry mom) But I am seriously considering joining some competitions at some point when i need a bit of a thrill ride.

This is a good time to state my rules on gambling.
(1) Walk into the casino assuming you are paying for a game. The amount you have set aside is lost. Do not count on walking out richer - most of the time you won't.
(2) Set an amount of money you can lose. You are subject to the Gambler's Ruin. You cannot play indefinitely. So know your limits and have the discipline to walk out. For example if I say I can only lose 50 bucks and I have won 1000. If I begin to lose that 1000 to say 800 - get up, say thanks and get out of there.
(3) Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ^100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 be in debt.
(4) Have fun!

The Existence Matrix

Fractals are mathematical constructs formed by repeating particular patterns. When given colour and effects, they are nothing short of work of arts.Where at first random in appearance, these patterns give rise to astonishing repetitiveness. Explained in Jurassic Park written by Michael Chrichton (reworded) a stone is a generally random shape - however, keep combining stones and you have emergence of a pattern such that the overall feel andlook of a mountain is still just a very large stone. Patterns in chaos, chaos in patterns. Much of existence follows these strange principals- repeating motifs created by what ought to be chaotic forces. Said beautifully once - there is no chaos nor order, merely differing levels of complexity.

(Images retrieved from http://apophysisrocks.wordpress.com/ check it out for more awesome pics)

Existence is a lot of patterns. Mathematicians dream of discovering the ultimate equation that will completely draw out the meaning of everything. Perhaps you think that the level of computation is too great for you and you don't see how it affects your daily life - and maybe you are right.

But everyday, every second, we are part of that equation. From the reactions in your brains to whether you want to ask a girl out for dinner to your opinion of the wars in the Middle East and not least of all Death. Nothing escapes this equation. This equation I term God. Everyone has their own terms for it and their own opinions. Whatever you want to call it or think of it, will not change the equation and perversely is a part of the equation.

Coming from a very male orientated view point, I am more comfortable when I perceive things as systems, equations and logical flow charts. From psychology to art - I believe there are mathematics behind everything. If you understood the equations you can master the system of anything. However, that is only one way of perception. Everyone has their own perception and mental tools to count the occurrences of daily life.

In conclusion, whatever is studied on this blog is always part of a great equation, the workings of the universe, God, karma, randomness, whatever you want to call it. Because whatever you want to call it, even if you hate the idea of God, the speed of light is 3*10^8 and 1+1=2 and there are things great and immutable far beyond your imagination.